The Itsy Bitsy Dicklette (Sung to the Tune of Itsy Bitsy Spider)

The itsy bitsy dicklette
tried to get hard and spout
but when she laughed it
wiped the cocklette out
she had some fun and
the weenie was in pain
and the itsy bitsy dicklette
tried to get hard again...

Now make up for your pathetic shrinky dink winky by buying me something!

Or, you could just call me and let me laugh at that pathetic piece of "wood-be" (yes, that's a pun) man-meat! Extra credit for any little dicked sissy who actually calls me up and sings this to me!

~Mistress Avarice
1-800-TO-FLIRT Ext: 0340-5343

Cock Control

So many of you just can't keep your fingers off that thing. It's like, you're the only one who ever had one, and you have to keep checking to make sure it's still there. You can leave it alone for a while. I promise it will be there when you get back to it. I also promise you're not the only one who has one, and yours is not that special.

But what if, you're out somewhere and the urge to play with it just won't go away? What if you're at your mother in law's house, church, or at work? Are you just supposed to ignore it and hope nobody notices? What if you absolutely HAVE to rub one out NOW?

I suggest you set aside some time for a cock control phone session  with me. I will teach you what you really should already know. You have no business trying to maintain control of that thing, as you personally have no control. You need to hand the reigns over to a strong, confident domina such as myself. I will teach your penis to follow my lead so that you can relax and concentrate on more important things such as spoiling me! After all this time with your cock in control of you, it will be such a relief to give that power to me. 

As back-up to our phone sessions, and when I'm unavailable to take calls, you can listen to my hypno-cock control recording. Listen to it over and over again. Learn to follow, learn to listen, learn to put your cock (figuratively) into my very capable and well-manicured hands. I will warn you in advance, the more you listen to it, the further under my control you will become. Eventually, I will own all of you, body soul and cock.

I'm quite sure this guy wishes he would have called me to learn how to control his pork sword. He was hard at work (literally) in a customer's home installing Comcast cable. Apparently he was so bedazzled by the 24 year old young lady, that all he could think about was stroking his power drill, so when she turned her head, well...that's what he did. That of course, earned him an invitation to the county jail, a place I don't suggest visiting unless you're ready to learn some variations on penis control!

The moral of this story, of course is, if you can't keep your fingers off your little friend, it's imperative you seek the advice and leadership of someone who is capable of instilling the control that you need. You don't want to end up like Shane Wheatley, Comcast Cable's cockiest cable installer!

~Mistress Avarice
1-800-TO-FLIRT Ext: 0340-5343

Just a little Shoe and Boot Tease

I was going to write about the men who I see surrepticiously loving my feet, the men at the office, the guys in class, the doorman, the waiter, and just the everyday men I see on the street, but I figured it would be more fun just to tease you with my own.
I haven't been able to take any pics in the last couple of weeks because of the flogger incident, but, I do have enough to tease you with! Oh, btw, they are a perfect size six, with very high arches.

I love to do the dangle thing when I'm sitting in class or the office. I act like I have no idea anyone is watching (let alone drooling) over my innocent but sexy performance.

I've got one slave that absolutely drools over boots. He's addicted to me, but me in leather thigh-high boots just totally pushes him over the edge. I'd say I have an over-abundance of boots, but, really, who ever has enough boots?

I've seen some guys in the gym staring at me. Not at my ass or my legs, but my shoes. I know they're wishing I'd take them off right then and there and make them take a big long sniff. I'd love to force them back into my locker room, and make them sniff and jerk until they begged me to let them cum. We both know how that would end, don't we? *g*

Whether you like them, sexy, grungy, clean, or dirty, you're surrounded by them every day. Sometimes I wonder how guys like you ever make it through your day to day existence without having a wank every ten minutes or so.

One of My Phone Sluts Perhaps?

Many of my phone sluts are not allowed to cum in a woman like real men are. One of them has a fluffy stuffed pink poodle he named Lola. He continues to make sure that poodle gets stuffed every single morning. Another has a favorite pillow. (if only his wife knew how used that pillow has been, I'm sure it wouldn't be in the house any longer.) Still another sneaks into his wife's panty drawers and releases his tension inside one or more pairs of panties, then leaves them there for her to find.

These losers release their meager little loads inside the things I tell them to because, quite honestly, I enjoy making them realize how pathetic they seem to real women, and because I don't want to take a chance on them pro-creating.

I've been surprised to find that some bedroom underachievers do this on their own without even being told. It makes me wonder if, somewhere in their tiny little brains they realize their nasty little squirts of sperm should not be used for anything that can cause conception.  I especially wonder when I see stories like this one.

This guy's walking down the street, minding his own business, when all of a sudden he sees a pink plastic raft. Of course the first thought in his mind is, "Hey, why don't I steal it and have sex with it?" Which he proceeds to do. In an ally. He gets busted and begs for the help he needs instead of jail. He really does need help as this has been an ongoing problem with him since he got busted in 2002 for "violating" an inflatable pumpkin.

Unfortunately for him, I doubt the jailers will let him call my FemDom phonesex line.  He is correct. He does need help, and unfortunately for him, the kind of help he's going to get where he's at will leave him walking funny for weeks.

So boys, the moral of this story is this: if you can't keep your pecker in your pants, if you want to wank but don't deserve a woman, if the only way you can get that teeny weenie up is to be forced to cum in inanimate objects, you NEED to give me a call. All new Niteflirt callers get three minutes free. That's probably all you need anyway, right?

~Mistress Avarice
1-800-TO-FLIRT EXT: 0339-0707